Ever since Freud, men have been guessing about what women want. Famous for our verbal skills, women are still not about to tell you what's really on our minds. But believe it or not, we women don't have you men completely figured out yet, either. We spend a lot of time thinking about what goes on inside that non-communicative head of yours. So what do we want to know? When your girlfriend gets that dreamy look in her eye, she may be thinking:
"Why can't I drive?"
Every guy insists on taking the wheel, as if merely sitting on the passenger side might somehow sap his testosterone. Riding shotgun used to be a macho position in stagecoach days. Now all it's good for is asking directions.
"Why won't you go to the doctor?"
Most men would rather suffer at home, wracked by fever, puking their brains out, than go to the doctors. His refusal to admit any kind of vulnerability leaves it up to her to fret over that suspicious mole on the back of his leg.
"Where do you keep all the stuff we lug in our purses?"
I don't know any man who carries a handkerchief these days. But how can your pockets hold your notes, change, credit cards, photo ID, checkbook, pills, PDA, mobile, breath mints, lip gloss, tissues, a comb and condoms? Maybe that's why combat trousers are so popular.
"Do men ever really talk about the important things with their friends?"
So much of male friendship is about what you do together. When it comes time for emotional support, are you able to share that intimacy? It doesn't seem as if men work at their friendships as much as, or in the same way, women do.
"How come you can't smell your dirty underwear?"
When you put on the socks stuffed in your running shoes, doesn't it occur to you that they are the same socks you ran a 10K race in two days ago? Draping your briefs over the back of a chair is more of a territorial display than a cleansing rite.
"Why don't you call when you say you will?"
If your date was so unforgettable, why say you'll call? Are you so chicken that you can't let her down to her face? If you truly mean to call, and postpone it, is it out of shear incompetence, or are you playing a mind game? This leads to the corollary question..."What will you really think of me if I call you?" Is a woman who makes the first move, or second, or third, considered desperate or daring? Is she charmingly bold or offensively brazen?
And of course, the million pound question:
"When you say you love me, do you really mean it, or are you just trying to get into my pants?"
[*According to Marcy Barack]