Tony Blair: Love is... A Cruel Mistress

Is there nothing a man wouldn't do for love? The following news story touches the heart on a mild Thursday morning, as the hunt is on for the identity of a mystery Blairite bard who is thought to be a member of Gordon Brown's Cabinet.

At Downing Street upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't Blair,
He wasn't Blair again today,
Oh how I wish he'd go away.

Business Secretary John Hutton was accused by his Tory shadow Alan Duncan of being behind the lines which appeared on the Spectator website. Mr Hutton totally denied the verse was his. "I would write better poetry than that."

The Minister shook his head and looked slightly embarrassed as Mr Duncan teased him that the poem belonged to him. The Tory MP said the poem could only have been penned "by one person" and the "finger of suspicion" pointed at Mr Hutton.
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During a Commons debate on Post Office closures, he said: "We are told that somewhere in Downing Street, thought to be a member of the Cabinet, there is a poet, a bard. "Looking at the flavour of the language, I think it can only be but one person."

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Mr Hutton said it was not him, insisting: "Those are absolutely not my words."

Mr Duncan said Mr Hutton had once claimed Gordon Brown would make a "blooming awful prime minister - and I translate for the sake of decency". Total politics at its best.