Friday, 21 November 2008

Top 10 Reasons They Don't Like You at Work

When you walk into the canteen, do the lively conversations stop? Do the groups quickly disband as everyone scrambles to head back to their offices? Do you think to yourself, "Was everybody's break really over or were they just trying to avoid me?"If any of the following situations describe you, these might be the reason you feel left out:

1. "The Sky isn't really blue - it's actually cyan"
Do you incessantly spout unnecessary or obscure information that would make a sad trainspotter jealous? Get rid of the "know-it-all" attitude or you'll make a career of lunching alone.

2. Chains of Love
Are you never around because you're always out on a "smoking break?" Limit your puffs to standard break times.

3. Workaholic Wannabe
Do you stroll in late, take extra long lunches and don't really start to roll-up your sleeves and dig into some serious work until about 2 p.m.? Then, do you make sure everyone sees you working past 5 p.m.? Well you're not impressing anyone; rather you're annoying those who already have put in a full day before you even get warmed up.

4. Hello Magazine - Office Edition
You're very good at filing away information - about everyone in the office! If you want to keep friends, learn to keep a secret.

5. Devil's Advocate
Do you feel compelled to take the other side of every argument just to make a point? Well stop it! Nothing is more exhausting for your colleagues than knowing you're always ready to challenge them no matter what they say.

6. Nattering
Do you go round the office forcing one-way conversations on your innocent victims? If the only response you receive is, "Right, umm, right," then they're not interested in your blather. Now get back to work!

7. Oh my ba-a-aby!
Related to the nattering talker is the baby babbler who incessantly gushes about her children. Only family and close friends should be privy to details about every syllable uttered, step taken or nappy dirtied. It's wonderful that you love your baby, but just keep the bragging brief.

8. Mr. Un-Clean
Leaving dishes in the sink, old food in the fridge, food splattered inside the microwave and crumbs on the break table is a sure-fire way to annoy fellow workers. Clean up your act.

9. What's that on your nose?
Do you constantly follow your boss around, laugh at all her jokes and drop her name in countless conversations? If so, then you are an arse-licker. Working in an office does require a certain amount of "schmoozing" the boss, but you don't have to tie yourself up in knots to impress her -- while alienating everyone else in the office.

10. Big mouth
Are your phone conversations loud enough to be from the speaker phone even though they're not? Dial down the volume to keep the peace.

If you recognise yourself in any of these scenarios, take heed. It's time to change your ways. Of course you can never please everyone, but healthy interoffice relationships are necessary to properly perform your duties and for future advancement in the company. So get rid of some of your annoying habits and you're sure to gain some new friends.


Sweet and Tender Hooligan 21 November 2008 at 11:43  

Christ, i actually am some of those things!!

Anonymous 21 November 2008 at 19:56  

... or u can get a job in another country where work colleagues just 'dig that accent' and don't care what you say so long as you 'speak in that wonderful accent'.

Anonymous 21 November 2008 at 21:42  

#9 What's that on your nose?

Are we thinking about a certain Substance Misuse WAG Regional Advisor here? 21 November 2008 at 22:13  

WAG Regional Advisor?

Anonymous 22 November 2008 at 16:08  

Also, it's not cool to put it 'out there' that one is single while one is in fact still married to someone.

Anonymous 23 November 2008 at 08:01  

"Additional": drinking too much dihydrogen monoxide can mean too much time spend going to the rest room. It's important to 'get a balance' between proper hydration around the water cooler and too many trips to the bathroom. Also, it's very important to keep beverages that contain dihydrogen monoxide away from keyboards and anything 'electrical'. A spilt cup can dent work productivity, ruin an urgent report, and lead to ugly stains that are murder to get rid of.

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